Who Should Learn Etiquette First: the parents or the children?

What People Are Asking

Who Should Learn Etiquette First:
The Parents or the Children?

Dear Tradition in Action,

I would like to correspond with Marian Horvat regarding etiquette.It would be wonderful if she would construct a course inetiquette for young ladies for use in Catholic homeschools.

Our Traditional Catholic women's group meets monthly, andthis topic would be well received.

     God bless you and Miss Horvat!

      C. M.

Dr. Horvat responds:

Dear Mrs. C.M.,

I am pleased to correspond with you about etiquette. A good friend and I are currently working on a book for parents called Courtesy Calls Again.

It seemed logical to address the topic of etiquette with the parents first because they are the normal models for children. If they are convinced of the importance of better guidelines and standards, the children would follow their good example naturally.

     Cordially,

     Marian T. Horvat

Mrs. C. M. writes back:

Dear Miss Horvat,

I have done some perfunctory research on Google regarding finishing schools and found a few etiquette seminars offered for children. Some parents' comments show that the skills learned spill over to the whole family! Once the children know the proper way for dining, etc., they unconsciously raise the parents' standards.

At our parish the children are loud and noisy during the brunch following Mass. Potential converts have been driven away with all the chaos they perceive. Some might argue that we are not stuffy or pretentious, but most would consider this a reflection on the lack of decorum of our parish members.

So many Traditional Catholic families are going along with the American leveling of society, that one needs to teach children how to respect an adult before one can teach them to respect a priest! (in reference to your article How to Address Priests and Religious)....

In this desperate day of "quick fixes" many Traditional Catholic parents would gladly welcome materials/guidelines for use in homeschooling the "unmannered masses". We would hope that you would be able to publish something that would help us train our children with specific goals/skills for each age group. Homeschooling parents learn as they teach. Maybe the catalytic effect will be civilizing (and less noisy!)

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help your project. I am so glad that you are concerned with the lack of culture in our society.

May Her Royal Highness watch over you!

     Sincerely,

     C. M.